Day 49: Another Day

I've heard runners use the term 'hit the wall', I'm not a runner by any means, but it seems to me that they mean something about getting fatigued to the point where they don't think they can go one more step. Today was 'hit the wall' day for John and I both. At one point we were both just laying on his bed looking at the ceiling, I don't know exactly what John was thinking, but there was a good bit there that I was wondering how we were going to make even one more day. After a bit I took one of his stuffed animals and tossed it at the ceiling, he erupted in giggles and a new game was born, along with a fresh breath that carried us through the rest of the day and makes me sure that we will make it all the days that we need to be away from home.

Today we got the news that we are going out-patient tomorrow, we can't wait! Being in-patient is good right until the day comes when the nurses are no longer doing things that I can't do myself. Not that there is a thing wrong with the nursing staff here, we have had great nurses and techs, ladies that have taken spectacular care of John and made our stay easier and more delightful by their very company. While it's a break that I don't have to make formula, pull meds, set-up TPN, figure replacement fluids, it's also a little maddening that I'm here and don't have any formula to make, meds to pull, TPN to set up or replacement fluids to figure. I'm glad we are headed out-patient tomorrow, it will get exhausting too I know, but for now the change sounds really good.

Over the last couple days I've been thinking about the things that make a prolonged hospital stay better. It would be easy to dwell on those things that make it harder but it makes my day better to think about those things that make it better and so I thought I would share them.

1. Faith in Christ - How parents make it through this without that peace I have no idea, but for me knowing that we/this is all part of God's plan and that we are in His hands makes this time away from home bearable, and lets us not merely survive here but thrive even at the times when we wonder if we are going to make it through one more day.

2. A Rock Hard Stable Family - I have met parents here and at other hospitals who are going through divorces or similar turmoil and I can't even imagine it. Knowing that Mark is home, keeping our house going, taking care of his churches, the dog, fish and himself, knowing that I can depend on him 100% to be faithful, not just in fidelity of marriage but in friendship, in thinking of us first, in being husband and dad even though he's many miles away makes it easier to be away.

3. Friends and Family who Pray and Care and Write/Call - From visits, to phone calls, to cards in the mail, an email here or there or even a comment on the blog, knowing that there are all these people out there who love and care for John and us, brings a ray of sunshine on even the gloomiest days around here.

4. Hospital Staff - From the housekeeping staff to the doctors and everyone in between the hospital staff makes this stay easier for us. Even tonight when I was going through the cafeteria there were many people who were asking about John and telling me when they were coming on shift next and that they were expecting to see him for breakfast on Friday. The people on the actual team here are great, and so are the rest of the staff, we have met people from every realm of this hospital and all of them are amazed and impressed with this little boy.

5. This Crazy Blog Thingy - I don't know exactly why, but having this place to talk about the things that go on makes a difference. Occasionally I get that phone call or email from someone when I haven't updated in a couple days and it makes me somehow more able to hold onto the little sanity that I've ever had knowing that others are reading this ramble.