Sunday, March 27, 2005

Christ is Risen!

Jesus Christ is risen! He has risen indeed! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

The long penitential season of Lent is over. It's not been my usual lent. No midweek services, no beautiful minor key lenten hymns, no continual focus on my sins. I miss lent but I'm very thankful that Easter is here. I'm painfully aware of my sins, blemishes and shortcomings. I sit here at the hospital with doubts, fears and worries so much and am glad for today's focus on our risen Lord and Savior who died on the cross to forgive my doubts, worries and poor attitude, my selfishness, dwelling on my own problems and forgetting those around me, and rose again to put the seal of our Father's approval on the divine payment for me. All is taken care of. My sins are forgiven and today is all new.

Tina or some combination of the staff around here played Easter bunny, John has a beautiful basket with a big yellow chicken in it, a precious moments doll, some bubbles and a chocolate bunny in it! These are the most generous and wonderful people. I am thankful for them!

John threw up 3 times last night. The last time at 1 am, Sara, one of the residents, came to tell me that Hanna wants John fed through all these episodes. Later after I hooked him back up and had him asleep Tina came in to see if I was okay with this. I told her that there had been several GI decisions that had been made in which I thought they were nuts and it worked out well. So I was sure willing to give this a try. Besides you would think that all those years and dollars in med school not to mention the experience too, they should have good ideas that I couldn't think up on my own. Now I understand why Hanna was telling me about keeping him hooked to his feeding tube 24 hours a day. They have the same communication difficulties as everyone else. I took puking and a resident to explain that he meant feed him through these episode and of course that is why Sandy kept saying push him hard like it was something new and had to be done in hospital. Despite all the communication mix-ups I am very thankful for this group of people who years before John was ever born went to school and learned how to take care of him!

God's gift of vocation is as wondrous, magnificent, and miraculous as His gifts of creation and redemption and all of them! To think that so many of these people years and years ago learned their skills or were given the drive and desire to learn them and that through these many hands God cares for John and his complicated and challenging needs. I have never understood vocation as clearly as when I sit here. Nor has it given me peace and contentment with my current circumstances so fully as here. I am so very thankful for Mark and my other pastors who have taught me the faith so that I may sit here in contentment waiting on what God has in store.

Jesus Christ is risen! He has risen indeed! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

What interesting things the day has brought so far. When I was doing John's g-tube care he lost 120 mL that I was able to measure and probably half again that much at least. After all the excitement from that wore off we were laying here playing with toys, nearly asleep when he threw up. Rothbaum came running in the door. Surreptitiously checked his hydration and pronounced the situation okay and said that the plan was to turn him to 40 mL's for 24 hours and see how he does. Should be interesting. I didn't eve brooch the subject of a therapeutic leave tomorrow. I am thankful for Gretchen, a very good resident, who is in charge of John's case and has to be the go-between with GI. I pray for her sanity!

Jesus Christ is risen! He has risen indeed! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

After yet more puking we ran John's tube to gravity and let him drain for a couple hours during which time he drank some water and puked again. For now he's hooked back up to his feeds at 20 mL/hr. We'll see what we shall see!

Mark finally called, thank God! I was beginning to think about how I was going to take care of him after another major wreck and take care of John too. Phew, he's safe and sound just can't remember to bring his cell phone with him. I swear the next holster the man buys needs to be for that damn phone. He needs to go see Bob Blumhorst and then he'll be on his way again. He is asking Bill to send someone after the dogs. Sure am going to owe bill a big one when John gets home from this one. I am so thankful or God's blessing of good Christian people for Mark to serve.

John sat and played with me for a while. What a gorgeous heart-warming smile. Now he's laying on the pillow playing with the new bear he got from the hospital for Easter, sucking his lip and trying to put himself to sleep. He is so precious. Each moment that we are with him is a blessing beyond measure. Today, like everyday I am thankful beyond words for our precious son!!

Jesus Christ is risen! He has risen indeed! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

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