Bribery Isn't All Bad

As John is attempting to fall asleep tonight it's giving me time to reflect on the day. The funny part is he wouldn't be having such a hard time going to sleep if he wasn't doing so much better.

John has had a really good day. He actually looks better today than he has looked in the past two weeks. He's eaten well today, albeit we did bribe him with a Rice Krispy treat to eat lunch and with chocolate to eat supper, but really bribery isn't bad with kids right?

Mark had to return home today but, since John is doing well enough to have his IV taken out he was able to walk him out to the garage and wave and blow kisses as daddy left. I intended for us to then return to the room but John was ready for a walk and so we explored the hospital, in, out, up and down for an hour or so and then he decided it was time to tell everything goodnight and head back to his room.

While we were walking in the garden a Life Flight helicopter came over, John was fascinated. As I said a silent prayer for the child, their family and all who will care the them I was reminded how fortunate we are that this time John wasn't ill enough to fly.

As we sit in the building where many parents have had to say goodbye to their children I am reminded how fragile and how precious life is. I sometimes find myself catching my breath with fear thinking of my precious child who hasn't gained any weight in so long and who must start to gain weight and grow to remain in this life. Then I read the inscription in a book donated to the hospital library in the name of someone else's precious child who spent a mere 26 days in this life and I remember how blessed we are to have had these 3 1/2 years to hold and cuddle, love and laugh, pray and grow with our son. I do not know if it is a normal parent fear that their child will die or if that is a fear relegated mostly to parents whose child portrays the fragility of this life. I do know that life no matter how short or long is precious beyond what mere humans words can convey and that I fall asleep each night with a sincere thank-you to our merciful heavenly Father for one more day in the life of John, with a prayer for one more and yes, I am greedy, a prayer for many, many more and the comfort that lies in the knowledge that my son is in Christ's hands and will continue to be so whether on this earth or in heaven above.

As I finish this in what passes for darkness in a hospital room I marvel at the tenacity of a little boy who is too sick to go home to his peaceful dark room and too well to sleep in the chaotic semi-darkness of the hospital. So far tonight he has tossed and turned, signed some conversation to himself in which he counted his fingers and twice invoked the name of dad, kicked off his covers only to pull them back up and hold his legs and arms high into the air forming a tent which he found amusing enough to do on several occasions and is even now alternately pulling the cover up to go to sleep and then pulling it down and demanding more ice. Somedays I find that the only defense that sanity has is to laugh!