5 Years Old!

I thought I better get this birthday post in here before it's time for a Christmas one. We took John up to the Baker's house in Nebraska to celebrate turning 5, and what a celebration it was. He had the best time, playing with the kids, unwrapping presents, putting out candles with the candle snuffer, and just everything was so much fun for him, and us too! My mom got John a DVD-camcorder for his birthday so that he could watch his friends and his birthday party on the way home, he loved this and has watched it many times since. Unfortunately this means that we didn't take as many still pictures and I can't figure out how to upload video from the little DVD to the computer. So I share these pictures with you:



This one was actually taken just before we left for John's birthday, the sweater he is wearing is the sweater that Mark's Auntie Gerry made for him when he was a little boy. John loves this sweater and he has worn it many places. I was initially worried that he would be so hard on it that it would fall apart, but then decided that he was enjoying it too much to worry about it and well it's made a lot tougher than I thought, because it is holding up great.



Here John is opening up his birthday presents, he just loves the little girl that is sitting there with him and she helped him with all of his presents, and then helped him play with them too. Now he really enjoys the rest of the Baker children too, but he and Chick #3 have the very best time together. While we were there she played the piano for him and let him set next to her and play too. John's love for music just seems to grow and grow and after we are through the purchase of our house this year we will begin looking for him a piano for home, one that we can afford and one that can hold it's tune.

I've been amazed at what this 5th year of John's life has brought, as I look back over the posts and think back through the year it's been quite the roller coaster ride as all of his years have been, but this one is ending on such high notes. We see God's gracious hand in John's life everyday and not the least of that is just the good health that he is enjoying right now. John is scribbling on everything, asserting his independence at every turn, playing with toys and in ways that he's never done before, getting to be more helpful and even just more fun and caring, he's growing up in front of our eyes and we are so very blessed to watch and enjoy this.

At the moment he is sitting in the living room cutting the wooden birthday cake that the Baker's got him for his birthday and watching Peter Pan. He now has the patience to watch a whole movie, well okay a whole movie that has a good deal of action in it. We have just been thrilled to watch all the changes this year and we're looking forward to what the next year brings.

As for mom and dad we are doing better each day. I have learned not to cry in front of John, it just breaks his heart, but Mark still lets me borrow a shoulder when I need it. I was able to fully miscarry on my own last Monday so don't have to make decisions about d&c's and such things. Grief is grief, we are so thankful for the loved ones who have called and written, the cards, hugs and love from friends have been comforting and the friends who have opened their hearts and shared their own journey through this grief with us has helped immeasurably. As my body heals and I am able to do more things it helps my mind find some peace. Looking forward is both scary and exciting. I have found a doctor in Columbia who works with women with PCOS so that if God should so bless us again I am less likely to miscarry. We find that we want, hope and plan with God's grace, peace and strength to walk a narrow road between hoping and preparing as best we can for another pregnancy and not obsessing and falling back into the bitter mindset of infertility that we/I once carried.

Well one last note about our sweet John and I'll let this post loose on the internet and go back to some baking for Christmas eve. As I was typing the last paragraph and getting myself close to tears yet again, I heard the sound of paper ripping in the living room. Low and behold the son whom I love so very much was in there opening a Christmas present. Silly boy, this is the first year that he's been really excited about them and he just couldn't help himself anymore. Well the present wasn't his, turkey. So the present is wrapped back up, thankfully he did just enough damage to get my attention and not so much as to make it obvious what the present is, because it's mine and Mark's from my mom and I just don't want to know yet.

Have a Merry Christmas, and I'll post John's Christmas antics a few days or so afterward.

107

I got to looking back through old posts to find out when John had come out of the hospital this summer, September the 2nd, 107 days ago. WOW! Back when John was 3 we got very close to 100 days of no hospital, I think we made it to 96 or something like that and then he was back in again. This 107 days is the longest stretch that John has ever been out of the hospital in his life, now that is something to celebrate and to thank God for. Oh, and I'll get to a birthday post pretty soon.

Sit Up and Cheer

These are not in chronological order of the evening, but you have to see this...



...this is John sitting up by himself! We cheered, we hollered, and his monkey and doll danced. This is the first time in his whole life that John has sat up from laying down all by himself. What a gift!!!!



Okay, to start at the beginning, John decided that tonight we needed to do garland. First of course he had to do his Mr. T goes Christmas Bling imitation and put the garland on himself and then after we got them all untangled we could put them onto the tree.



Of course after the garland went on the tree then it was the monkey's turn. We have a rotating Christmas tree stand, the smartest after Christmas buy we've ever made, and so John is fascinated with the tree even more so because it moves.



Just a bit after he finished sticking his doll in the tree he started trying to climb in there himself. He was a little disappointed that he was too heavy to ride in the tree, but had a great time giving monkey and doll rides.

St. Nicholas Day

Mark has many fond memories of celebrating St. Nicholas day as a child and so we have found ways to have this celebration be part of our family tradition too. Since John's very first St. Nicholas day we have read him this book about the real St. Nick.

Also this day we usually put up and decorate our Christmas tree. John is a Christmas tree fanatic and so no matter what else is going on in life it's worth it to get the tree up for his enjoyment. This year he decided he needed to help...



...and then I'm sure he's heard us tell him that he's our gift from God enough that he thinks he belongs under the tree, well okay maybe he just needed to get under there anyway...



Finally this evening when we were getting ready for Advent services John just needed to wear daddy's extra collar...



...after all it does match his gloves ;)

We still don't have the decorations on the tree, but it's up and lit and we decided that we need to take it a little slower this year, hauling one big box of Christmas stuff up the stairs a day and putting those things out just seems much more doable than bringing up the whole she-bang in one fell swoop.

Honestly I was afraid this was going to be a little much Christmas cheer for me at this moment in time, but I found it was helpful, not to say that there aren't a few tears on the newly fluffed tree limbs (fluffing is my job) or that there weren't a few shed at the Advent service and here and there throughout the day, but all in all it was a better day than I thought it would be and John's enjoyment of the tree and festivities helped a lot. By God's grace we continue and have even been able to keep up our one and only Advent tradition, well besides going to church, the singing of From Heaven Above to Earth I Come each night, John loves to look at the book and tonight he was warbling something for each of the pages. He always makes his mommy smile.

Sadness and Joy

This is Mark, this evening I have the privilege of posting the events of our family life together.

This morning we went to see John's new audiologist, another friendly and helpful lady who is taking care of John's hearing aids, and we made new molds of the inside of his ears to make better fitting ear pieces as John continues to grow in all ways. This was a normal and good part of the day.

Following this we went to see the OB-Gyn for Gina, for we have been celebrating the life that was growing within her for the past week. Yet our joy in this was to be short for now, and yet will be, by God's grace in Christ, eternal. The child she was carrying within her for the past 8-9 weeks left us to return to the Lord who had given this precious little one life. There is no way to know if our baby was a boy or girl, yet we are not going to let this child go unnamed and unremembered. We have chosen to name the baby Katherine, in honor of Gina's mom who, through all the joy and now sorrow, has been there for us with wisdom, encouragement, and hope, even when we had none.

While this is a sad and heart-breaking day it has come also with notes of that eternal joy that I wrote above. When we told John that the baby we had been praying for all week was now in heaven, he signed 'baby with Jesus' and smiled at us. Such profound and simple faith speaks volumes. Even as tears fall, threatening to short out the keyboard, I can be as confident as King David who, while grieving the loss of his unnamed son, said, 'he will not come back to me, I will go to him.' In this way I can commend Katherine into the gracious hands of her loving Savior, Jesus Christ, knowing that we shall meet face to face and eye to eye someday and share the love eternally that we had hoped to here in this life. And if at that point we find that our baby girl is a baby boy I am sure he will forgive us and still love us.

New Wheels

Not too very long after I posted the Happy Thanksgiving post we got a phone call from the chair place telling us that John's power chair would be here at 2pm. We had gotten a letter the week before telling us that it had been ordered and would be in within the next 4 weeks, so of course we didn't have any ramps built. Mark quickly built 3 ramps to get John's chair in the house and the adventure has been on ever since.

I was very impressed with John, he's only gotten to drive a power chair 3 times, and those were only chairs that were similar to this one, not exactly the same, and the last time that he had driven one was months and months ago. No more had his little bottom been planted in the seat than he reached over and turned it on and was ready to drive. The chair needed a few adjustments and you can see that he has a wrench in his hand and was helping.

An hour or so of adjustment making and a trip up the 3 new ramps that his daddy built and he was ready to terrorize, uh I mean, drive in the house. He is very good at this and is getting better each time he is in it, but that doesn't mean that he's exactly getting safe driving awards yet. We did realize that the chair was heavy enough and had enough torgue that we can't push it and it can certainly push many other things, but he's getting better and there hasn't been any permanent damage to chair, structures, pedestrians or pooches.

It is giving him the freedom that we hoped for and as he gets better at driving it that will only increase. Before the chair John would be playing computer, or something and get done and have to holler and fuss to get our attention to move him, with the chair he can come and get us and tell us that he's ready for something else to do, or even go and find that something else himself. He is still getting in his gait trainer and walking, and holding our hands and walking through the house, and scooting around too, but this adds a whole other dimension to his mobility.



And of course today was new haircut day for my favorite guys, so I could resist showing them off!

Happy Thanksgiving!

We find this year that we have many things to be thankful for...



...good friends.

John's godparents came to visit this month and what a great time we had. It was so nice to get to visit, to enjoy seeing how grown up our sweet goddaughter is now, and just be together for a while. John had a great time with the kids here and he was sad to see them leave. Somehow our house is just much quieter without the godcousins swirling around, with no trains in the kitchen and no little girls that like to play playdoh for hours and no little boys running hither and yon. We look forward to getting to go and see them, and whenever they get back this way, it's always fun to be together.



...a little boy who is doing great and getting bigger and better all the time.

We just got home from John's check-up in Omaha yesterday. I must say that even with the good news of his appointment the very best part of any trip to Nebraska is staying with the Baker's. We will be returning in a couple weeks just to hang out and play at their house for the weekend of John's birthday - he will be so excited, and so will we!

John's appointment news is very good. He has actually gained weight, about .25 kilos, not as much as anyone would like him to gain, but it's in the right direction and the docs/team have a plan to help him gain more. These kids are so much trial and error, but it's comforting to know that the experts have more ideas and listen to ours too. John's height portion of the growth chart is still nearly a straight line up since arriving in Omaha, he's now 38 inches tall, his weight on the other hand looks like a hook, having gone up and now sliding back down, hopefully it will turn more into a roller coaster soon! We are going to be trying prune juice to manage the constipation, as both they and we want him off the Miralax, the kid just doesn't need more drugs in his body if we can avoid them. At any rate John is doing so well that he doesn't have another appointment for 6 weeks and actually gets to have labs done every other week this time.

...a new life to celebrate and share.

We found out last week why I have been so tired that I can't manage to do much, including update the blog, I'm pregnant. It feels surreal to write that down and it mean me, Mark and I have been married for almost 14 years and never thought that we'd ever see a positive pregnancy test but last week the test went positive so fast I never even had a chance to set it down. We did find a high-risk pregnancy ob/gyn in Columbia, I'm 42 and overweight, our first appointment with the nurse is on Monday and then we see the doctor on the 17th of December. We are guessing that the baby should be due in early July, but are looking forward to the first ultrasound so that we can see if our guess is good or off. I never realized that my whole body would feel pregnant, I also never realized what tired really meant. We have told John that he is going to be a big brother, and I'm not sure just how much he gets it, his first reaction was 'baby play playdoh', can't wait until we can show him his new baby brother or sister. We are excited, shocked, amazed and most of all thankful that God has blessed us with this little life.